MAR. 12 | What about this face DOESN'T say international ambassador of the Olympic-movement?

  • Posted on: 12 March 2011
  • By: Michelle

Alright peoples of the internet ... well, all eight of you (and specifically the three of you not directly related and thus have a blood requirement to support me ... ) who regularly visit this blog because you have run out of productive things to do at work and your boss has stepped out of the office for a moment ...

Here’s your big chance. Okay. Well. Here’s A chance.

So, my coach sent me this link to an application for the Young Participants Session at the International Olympic Academy.

And yes. I know what you are thinking. "Hey, Bartleman, which part of 'young' didn't you understand?"

Because, that's exactly what I was thinking.

But hey, turns out that the definitive line between 'young' and 'old' is age 35. Or at least, that's what them Olympic guys over there say. Oh, and also the International Olympic Weightlifitng people. Apparently I can't start my Masters category weightlifting career until I am 35. In case you were wondering what the next step in my athletic career was going to be after skeleton.

So there you have it. You can call me 'old' in three years. But even then, only if you can beat me in a foot race.

So, then the next thing I was thinking was, seriously, come on, who wants to go on an all-expenses paid trip to Greece in the middle of the summer to be part of an international meeting of Olympic-inspired minds? I mean, all those airport security lines, and annoying identifcation lanyards (and who knows if they will even laminate them properly), and trying to decide what clothing to bring for a warm climate ... I mean who really wants to go through the hassle?

Oh. Wait. That's right. I DO.

But here's the problem. No, not the problem of being old. We already established that I'm officially 'not old' yet. Remember?

No, the problem is, well, we need to convince the Canadian Olympic Committee that they should take me with them to Greece. And well, that probably means we need to convince them that I am not mentally ill, or domestically dangerous, or an alcoholic ... well, essentially we need to convince them that I am civilized and generally respectable member of society, from a nice, normal family, who would be an upstanding representation of Canada at an international event.

You see the problem right?

So ... uhhh ... I guess, maybe, I could give them a mental picture of the adorable little girl (that's me ... just run with it, okay?) with the big Olympic dream. Or I could show them how, when you search the word 'Olympics' on my blog, there are plenty of results, which highlight my interest in the Olympic movement. Or maybe I could help them see that I uphold the values of health and sport, and that I share them with the community. Or tell them that I believe that the Olympic journey isn't a one-man show and that I really appreciate all the people involved? Oh, maybe I could tell them I speak French too.

That stuff all sounds pretty respectable and upstanding, right?

Hey. Well, look at that. Seems as though, if you ignore a few less-than-spectacular moments of my existence, we can make me look pretty good on paper.

And, of course, we all know that I am just plain adorable.

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So, listen, peoples of the internet ... I think we could really pull this thing off if I had, you know, a few ... third-party validation. Like, maybe some of could write something in the comments section about how qualified I am for the free trip to Greece to represent Canada as an ambassador for the Olympic movement?

And maybe leave out those stories you all have of those, uhhhh, less-than-spectacular moments of my existence?