OCT. 22 | Let's talk about something here: Yoghurt

  • Posted on: 23 October 2009
  • By: Michelle

I have a problem: I am incapable of deciding which yoghurt to buy.


You laugh, but I am not kidding. I cannot remember the last time I made a successful yoghurt purchase.

It's not like I don't like yoghurt. I find it very tasty indeed. And I have seen enough TV ads, or, at the very least, SNL spoofs, to know that there is some relationship between yoghurt and ... uhhh ... let's call it gastro-intestinal health. Which seems like an equally valid reason to consume said dairy product.

But I am incapable of making a decision regarding which yoghurt to buy.

I don't mean that I waffle for a few minutes in the yoghurt aisle before simply picking whatever is on sale.

I don't mean that I can't decide which fruit combination seems more appetizing.

I don't mean that I am not sure whether to buy a large tub, or individual servings.

I mean, that I am utterly and completely unable to leave a grocery store with a container of yoghurt in my possession.

Take today for example. I happened upon the yoghurt aisle, and thought, maybe I should give it a go. So I started with what was on sale. Mmmmm ... Creamy Danone, in individual servings. Yummy. But I don't need 12 containers ... Well, what about a tub? But this tub has too much sugar. And this tub is low-fat. But I want some fat. This tub is low in sugar, but that's because it's all additives. This tub is all-natural, but it's that weird fruit-on-the-bottom kind. Really, is it that hard to stir it though? But I really like the Creamy Danone. And look they have new flavours. But if I buy 12, then I won't be able to eat them all. And then they will approach their expiry date, and I will just be scared of them. Why do they have to have a box of 12? Why can't I buy them individually? Oh, well, what about the Lucerne individual servings that are sold seperately? Low-fat ... no-fat ... fruit-on-the-bottom ... but there's so much sugar. My dentist is going to yell at me. Why can't I just find, normal fat with less sugar? But not freaky fake sugar, whatever that is ... I just want the whole ingredients. I guess I could go with the hippie organic one. But it's expensive ...

And so on.

This yoghurt decision battle continues, unfailing, for no less than half an hour.

HALF AN HOUR. The minute I wander into any yoghurt aisle, I can guarantee that 30 minutes later, you will still find me standing there, with my eyes glazed over and no yoghurt in the shopping cart.

I cannot make a yoghurt decision.

Today was no different. By the time I had been standing there, reading ingredient labels for the better portion of an hour, I simply decided that my efforts, once again, were futile, and that it was an inescapable fact that I was doomed to leave the grocery store yoghurt-less.

So I went and bought some fuzzy socks instead.


They are delicious. And my dentist won't yell at me.