It's been four years since I was able to get any Halloween action that doesn't involve a spandex-based costume that you can wear while traveling at 110 kph.

So, predictably, I went with bath loofah.

We had a team party that involved a disturbing number of costumes that were dug out of a dressing room of "The Village People," an equally disturbing number of men wearing fishnet stockings, a caldron of ice cream-based adult beverage and dancing that makes Bristol Palin look like she's got mad skillz.

Afterward the really hot girl dressed as the sexy bee made us congo line through the entire house, including through at least one bathtub.

For the record, the really hot girl dressed as the sexy bee, was significantly less hot once the effects of the ice cream-based adult beverage wore off ...

Now, here's a shoutout to my teammate Charles There-is-an-overabundance-of-Zs-and-Ws-in-my-last-name-combined-with-an-entirely-insufficient-number-of-vowels-making-it-impossible-for-anyone-using-a-Latin-based-alphabet-to-pronounce-without-their-head-imploding, and my other teammate Rod Perman, who went with a team Star Wars effort.

This was a complete surprise.

In the way that instant GI distress is a surprise after eating McDonald's.

After I took this picture, Charles took a look at the camera, and exclaimed "Oh my god. I TOTALLY look like a Jedi." And he was genuinely pleased.

Although, to be honest, I was quite pleased about my own genuine loofah-ness.

I can't really post photos of the other costumes without making you click on an "I'm over 18" button ...