Okay ... so the guys are right ... the place that we are staying at in Altenberg is straight out of a horror film. We had to drive in the dark, through the forests and hills of East Germany, to a tiny little town called Schellerhau, 20 kms from the Czech border, where we finally happened upon our "resort" hotel, the Stephanshohe.

Across the street is a little church, with a graveyard.

Cool picture and all ... but it's not hard to imagine a pickax-wielding psychopath hiding in the trees. And it doesn't help that every day the weather is permanent fog.

The only thing that completely nullifies any "The Shining" atmosphere that this place would otherwise have, is that each morning several coach buses pull up and out pour masses of elderly German tourists. Seriously, this hotel is a actually just a huge low-budget grounded cruise ship, complete with buffet meals, blue-haired old ladies and daily scheduled Aquafit sessions.

The one thing that redeems the Stephanshohe, is that each morning at breakfast you can make your own Mickey Mouse waffles.

Even a pickax-wielding psychopath couldn't resist this.