So yesterday I went to a really big (big in a numbers kinda way, like 1000-people big) luncheon that was attended by about 999 people who are more important than me.

It's like a bad rerun ... on a much larger scale.

"Hi everyone, welcome to this big, important event. Joining us today is the premier of British Columbia and the premier of the Yukon Territory; the mayors of West Vancouver, North Vancouver and the City of Vancouver; the Chief of the Tsleil-Waututh First Nations; some people from very high up the Coca Cola, Bell and RBC ladders; the first chosen torchbearer for the 2010 Olympics, the chair of VANOC, several people with more letters after their names than the English alphabet is capable of handling, a few people whose place setting card begin "Her Worship" ... and ... ummmm ... oh yeah, Michelle Bartleman, a quasi-competent development slider from Squamish who could barely find a pair of dress pants for this function let alone get around to hemming them. Please try to ignore her footwear. No, she doesn't know what a pantsuit is. Yes, lipsmackers Tangerine-Tastic lipgloss is all she owns."

So, I was one of five B.C. development athletes who were chosen, courtesy of my strength and conditioning coach at Canadian Sport Centre Pacific (yo, yo Diana ... thanks!) to receive support awards for "up and coming athletes" from 2010 Legacies Now.

The variety of athletes chosen and their awards were really cool ... a speed skater who got a new bike for off season training, a visually impaired 14-year-old Para Alpine skier who got new skis, a wheelchair curling athlete who got travel support and a luge athlete who got equipment support.

My award is going to help purchase a new sled for next season, but because new sleds aren't built until the summer, I brought my old sled for the Premier to give me.

When we got the email with the details about the luncheon and the itinerary, there was a line at the bottom that said one of the five award receipients would be asked to make a small thank you speech on behalf of all the ahtletes at the end of the event. And I thought to myself, it's going to be me, isn't it? Sure enough, the next day I got a phone call ... "Hi, do you want to do the thank you speech?"

Curses to you Dad for making me practice my Concours D'Art Oratoire speeches at your Toast Masters meetings when I was seven and turning me into a somewhat competent and eloquent public rhetorician who isn't afraid of large groups of people!

Now, if only you had taken me to beauty pageants, maybe I wouldn't show up for the majority of my speeches looking like I don't even own a pair of heels, let alone a pantsuit, and that there is a high probability that I am not actually sure what the difference between cover up and foundation is.

Oh ... wait ... I don't. Nice going dad.

If your work day is so uneventful that you are wondering what I might have said up there that could possibly have kept people from looking down at my unhemmed, three-inches-too-long pair of hand-me-down dress pants and nine-dollar Walmart ballet slippers ... well, have at it. I think the cheese factor ranks somewhere between feta and Gorgonzola, but I really do mean every word.

Now, it wouldn't really be a proper recap of "Michelle Being Recognized in Public" it we didn't have the token "Michelle Makes a Retarded Face" picture. I call this one "Nostril Flare in your General Direction."