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FEB. 25 | Dear Shoelaces ... Suck it!

  • Posted on: 26 February 2009
  • By: Michelle

sandals

Last Saturday I opened up the back door to sunshine and melting snow, and thought to myself ... Self ... do you know what this means? IT'S SANDAL TIME!

There are few daily tasks that I find more tedious and irritating than tying shoes (I know, I know ... it's a rough life I lead).

Most of the time I already have my jacket on and my bag (NO. IT'S NOT A PURSE.) slung over my shoulder, and then I have to go through the hassle of bending over to tie my shoes, and my jacket gets all bunched up, and then my hair gets in my eyes, then my bag falls off ... then when I stand up, my ass gets caught in the strap of my bag, and I fall over, hitting my head on the stair railing and knocking over the shoe racks, sending shoes and boots (along with their infuriating laces) flying in all directions, at least one of which hits an innocent cat and the others of which I trip on as I am trying to regain my balance, in turn sending me tumbling into the closet where I land comfortably on two pairs of roller blades (who at least have the courtesy to sport plastic bindings), one pair of ice skates (want to REALLY talk about the hazards of lace-tying?), a kite (more strings ... ) and a Dance Dance Revolution dance pad. Do you see my problem here? Let's not even talk about what goes on when I get home with three bags of groceries and a box of cat litter while wearing hiking boots that are double-knotted.

So, the minute ... nay, the second ... I see the meteorological opportunity to don footwear that requires less gymnastics then ... well ... the days when I was a gymnast ... I've got flip flops, or birks, or crocs, or any one of the myriad of other available slip-on solutions, on my feet faster than you can say "Ummm ... there's still snow on the ground ... "

Snow-schmo ... as long as the chance that frostbite resulting in lower extremity amputations is less than 50 per cent (which are certainly better odds than those I face trying to get shoes on without having to dial 911), sandals win out.

I also figure that the sooner I pull on my flip flops and flaunt them for Mother Nature, the sooner she will realize it's no use trying to convince me that February is a perfectly appropriate time for snow and snowboots.

So ... it's been -10 C, snowing and freezing rain for the past three days ...

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