As far as I can tell, the year is divided into four seasons: skeleton racing, Christmas, construction and, my favorite: Garage Sailing.

And this past Saturday constituted Opening Day for the 2009 Squamish Garage Sailing Circuit. By the looks of things, we're gearing for a very profitable season. (Translation: Michelle needs to figure out how to sneak her $10 car load of STUFF past an unimpressed husband each Saturday afternoon. That's the REAL skill of Garage Sailing ...)

Garage Sailing (and yes, this is a proper noun that should always be revered ... then capitalized ...) in Squamish is a strange business compared with my past experiences. In Alaska we used to head out around 10 a.m., grab a coffee and leisurely make our way around town, finishing the day well into the afternoon (or whenever the car was full, whichever came first). Then we would regroup and head back out of Sunday to see if we missed anything.

Let's just say that Squamites garage sail like Alaskans fish. This is a no-holds-bar-early-bird-catches-the-worm-brass-knuckles-out-full-combat operation. The classified garage sale listings in our local paper include phrases like "Early birds will be shot on site" - otherwise the poor merchants would need an entire SWAT team to keep the crowds off the driveway while they set things up.

If you are not out the door by 8:30 a.m. on Saturday, you might as well just go back to bed. Squamish Garage Sailing starts promptly at 9 a.m. and the bargains are available until about 9:20 a.m. After that you are lucky to find baskets of McDonald's Happy meal toys, broken appliances and overpriced salad spinners.

Because the fisty cuffs begin early and aggressively, the window of garage-sailing opportunity is condensed. People actually start packing up their wares and closing the garage doors around noon. If you show up past 1 p.m., you can even forget about the salad spinner - Old Lady Huntington has already started making her lunch with it, since she isn't willing to let it go for less than $15 - it was VERY expensive you know, you can check the stores, it costs $39.99.

Regardless of some of its flaws (including a PROLIFIC amount of baby items), there are always deals to be had on the Squamish Garage Sailing Circuit. This weekends finds:

• Breadmaker ($2)
• Book - The Will of a Nation: Awakening the Canadian Spirit by George Radwanski ($0.25)
• Sunglasses ($0.25)
• Walkie-Talkies ($8)
• Replacement toothbrush head ($1)
• Board game "Things" ($1)

TOTAL: $12.50

Now, I am leaving out the gem of the week from the above tally - I did manage to procure for my dear husband a 19-inch Acer flat screen monitor for a measley $40. This is garage sailing splurge however (mind you, one that will ensure that I continue to be fed and sheltered at least through the summer ... ) and doesn't factor into the weekend total.

So, things are looking bright for this year's Garage Sailing season. I have to go ... I think I hear my husband sobbing in a corner somewhere ...