Yeah, yeah ... so I am a little behind here. Normally, I am unapologetic about these things, since, well, the profit margins remain the same regardless of whether I blog punctually or not.

But I am a little apologetic this time round, because I actually have some great material. But seeing as the likelihood of me back-blogging it all at this given juncture in my life/season is about as high as me eating a can of mushrooms while sporting a pink T-shirt, let's just concede defeat and go with a /photo summary of the last month.

1) My other pimped out ride ...

To pick up where I left off ... when I was cruising down the Deerfoot highway to the soothing sounds of a severed exhaust pipe, I was actually on my way to pick up my REAL ride: a brand spanking new, custom-sized, hand made, 2009 Davenport skeleton sled. Here she be:

Behind me is the man himself, Ryan Davenport, aka The-Guy-Who-Can-Calculate-In-His-Head-How-Many-Inches-Forward-You-Need-To-Move-On-Your-Sled-To-Compensate-For-The-Low-Weight-Of-Your-Abnormally-Short-Legs.

2) The Bane of Every Skeleton Athlete's Existence

There is one thing that a skeleton athlete loathes more than the bruises, sled head, spandex, cold and off-season training that are part and parcel with the sport. That would be padding a sled.

As you can see above ... a new sled comes, uhh .... bare bones ... pun totally intended ... get it? Get it? Bare bones, like, a skeleton ... GET IT!?

Sigh.

Which means that you have a good three ... four ... twelve hours ahead of you, spent sitting in front of the TV (if you are lucky) cutting out camping foam with an X-acto knife into shapes that are both rounded and beveled. Fun times.

For the record, I recant my offer to pad other people's sleds for a mere $100. Make it $200 and a bottle of gin, and you might have a deal ...

3) Day One: Bring out the padding, chin guards, exoskeleton, ratty old suits, and duct tape

This is the first year that we started our on-ice training in Whistler, and the first time ever that I didn't have to pack up and ship off to Calgary for most of the fall.

If we used to think that the Week 1 sled head was bad after the season's first runs starting in Calgary, at a paltry 115 kph and maybe 3 or 4 Gs in Kreisel, try opening up the season on Whistler with 130 kph and 5 Gs ...

Let's just say the padding, duct tape, chin guards and shin pads are all there for a reason ...

4) What I do for fun in the confines of my bathroom

Normally I wouldn't post half-naked pictures of myself in the tub (unless it was a REALLY good shot) ... but I figure that since I kept my socks on, it's okay.

My point was that, this water is SO NOT WARM, and the things we athletes do to eek an extra couple hundredths out of our bodies often borders on insanity. Because, I guarantee, that at this given point in time, no other Squamish resident was sitting in their bathtubs, filled with ice cold water, wearing socks and a sweatshirt. And for the record, the bathing suit isn't just to keep this blog PG-rated. YOU try sitting in five-degree water and tell me that you don't want even a small layer of spandex protecting your nether-regions ...

5) Gobble gobble

We had a wicked Thanksgiving feast together as a team at the condo in Whistler. The event included two 16-pound turkeys, several pies (including one blueberry masterpiece created by yours truly), a lot of root vegetables prepared in various fashion and several bottles of wine.

The event was such that I even brushed my hair and put on proper pants ...

No. That is NOT a pink shirt. THAT is Razzmatazz.

Yes. That IS my glass of wine. Yes. I did finish it. Three times. Yes. I did make a fool of myself. Yes. I do owe Joe an apology.

6) Art Deco Dexter

Look! I decorated my computer with a big sticker!

This in no way, shape or form improved either the speed or performance of said machine.

7) Oh yeah ...

I suppose I should mention the main focus of the past three weeks of Whistler training, which was selection races.

After two weeks of daily training, the National Development Team Selection race was held, where I finished second. Oooh ... and I even won a wicked toque for fastest push start ... I'm old, but them youngins' still gotta keep up with me ...

Based on our result from the first selection race, several of us were invited forward to the Senior National Team selection races, which included a four-heat race in Whistler (I finished 8th), and two more two-heat races in Calgary this coming week. After the races this week, the circuit teams will be announced ... the hope being that I am headed back to Europe for another tour on the Europa Cup Circuit (and more specifically, the hope that this year I retain the composure and ability to NOT kotz on the Tisch in Italy ... )

So. Now that we are all up to speed (Ha! GET IT? Up to SPEED? Get it!? ... Sigh.) ... stay tuned. I promise that I won't make any promises about if or when I may or may not update my blog ...

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