Nothing says Happy New Year like a holiday beer-can turkey in an suggestive position.

Well. Except maybe my brother with a gherkin up his nose.

What? You act like you are surprised or something. Ummmm ... have you met me? Then just imagine me times six at a Bartleman Family gathering, and the photo above makes perfect sense.

Fine. Here's a wholesome, family-friendly New Year's Day dinner photo to help you get the gherkin image out of your head.

Totally didn't work, did it? At least you didn't have to see it live. More than once.

Here's to sunnier days and lighter rains in the coming year ... Happy New Year!