Look at THIS.

THIS is a start list for our official training in Igls, Austria. There are SEVENTY-SIX people on this start list. Do you know how long it takes 76 people to do three runs? The answer is A LONG FREAKIN' TIME. Like, longer than it took me to do my bangs in grade seven.

Let me tell you something about Igls.

I. HATE. THIS. TRACK. Send me to Altenberg any day of the week, thank you very much.

Igls is a track that requires good form, patience and quietness on your sled. I have none of the above. Add to it the fact that it DOESN'T EVER STOP SNOWING on this continent and throw that into the mix of six-hour sliding sessions, and let me tell you how I really feel about Igls.

This track makes me want to poke pins in my eyeballs.

OK, so seriously, after four days of training, my game plan for race day tomorrow has been primed, honed and readied: Run my ass off, then get on my sled, put my face on the ice and DON'T MOVE. Don't breathe too hard, don't flinch, don't look up, don't sneeze and DON'T MOVE. Come out of corner two early and hit the wall? DON'T MOVE. Go into corner nine late and hit the roof? DON'T MOVE. Enter the labyrinth on the right wall and shoot off corner twelve upside down? DON'T MOVE. Wildlife in the track? DON'T MOVE A #*%$# LIMB.

This is a very strategic and complicated sport, folks, with concepts that, really, you probably wouldn't understand ...