This is Erin, one of my oldest, dearest friends. We were in cadets together and played softball on the same team when we were in high school. She used to throw softballs at my head, although she will vehemently deny it. That was before we were friends.

There are only two reasons why I would voluntarily set my alarm clock for 4:30 a.m. and not only rise accordingly, but also shine:

1) Christmas
2) To watch the Beijing Olympic opening ceremonies live

And seeing as it is currently 4:48 a.m. and I am, as my dad would say, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and ain't nobody handing me a stocking full of presents, I am going to surmise that it's not Christmas morning.

Let the games begin!

Today is Jason's birthday and we celebrated in style: we ate Timmie's for breakfast, watched four hours of Battlestar Galactica, had Greek food for dinner, went to the movies to see the newest Batman and then came home and ate cake.

For his birthday I gave Jay what every introverted computer programmer wants: his photo on the front page of the classified section in the local newspaper, delivered to the doorsteps of 5,000 residents.

Know what this is?

Apparently, this is what garlic looks like right after it is pulled out of the garden. Who would have known? (Other than my mother-in-law and pretty much every other human on earth?)

I was at the market, and asked the dude if they had any garlic. He pointed to a big box with all these tall shoots sticking out, a box that I had already investigated, and which, despite its large label clearly stating this was garlic, I couldn't make heads or tails of.

So, I am turning 30 (I think I just threw up a little from actually seeing the number in print) tomorrow and I feel about as excited about the prospect as it looks like I felt about being born (althought it could very well be that I am making that face because of the ridiculous bonnet I am wearing).

I am pretty sure that what happens tomorrow is that I simply expire. So if you don't hear from me anymore, then that's where I am. Dead.